Friday, August 20, 2010

News News News!

SCOOTER'S REPORT - If it's news but not here, it's not real:

Hardhats Vow Not To Build Ground Zero Mosque

Rats, I was really wanting to see how the Iron Workers' new pork/steel girders were going to work out. Thank God for individuals who put conscience before profit - I salute yous guys.

______________________________________

Martha's Vineyard Still Attracts Sh*t

I thought this story referenced the Obama's latest vacation (this month) to Ted Kennedy's old drinking/whoring grounds, Martha's Vineyard, but it turns out it's about the salt-water lagoon fronting the first family’s vacation estate having high levels of fecal coliform bacteria.

Apparently, the reports of the First Lady pooping in the lagoon were true ("Hey Mom, what kind of fish is THAT?").

______________________________________

Maxine Waters Dismisses Evidence In Ethics Case As "Chatter"

OK, so Intellectual pygmy and Rangel soul-mate, Rep. Maxine Waters, calls emails she sent to Barney Frank to procure $12 million for her husband's bank innocent "office chatter." Investigators (and anyone with a higher IQ than a bicycle seat's) politely disagree.

The fact that Waters has already forgotten how this defense worked out for Nixon and his tapes proves it's time for this parasitic geriatric hose-bag to hit the road. See ya!

______________________________________

White House: Obama "Obviously" A Christian

Alright, let's see now...

  1. Spent the last 20 years in 'church' studying hatred for another race - check
  2. Tirelessly promoted the slaughter of unborn and partially-born babies - check
  3. Studied under and worked closely with atheist socialists and terrorists - check
  4. Stated there are many roads to salvation - check
  5. Raised as a Muslim - check
  6. Never attended a church service since winning presidency - check
  7. Worships Satan - OK, I made that one up

Yep, Barry's obviously a follower of Christ, all right!



First Lady Michelle Obama, Maxine Waters, "Christian" Obama

Read More Satire and Comic Comments at Scooter's Report



No comments:

Political